For a year and four months, I kept myself from believing that I will once again feel my heart beat for one special person. Not because I don’t want to believe but because I was traumatized by the bitter fate of the past relationship that I had.


Unconsciously and as a result of my defense mechanism on any possible form of intimacy, love and commitment, I grew lonely, gloomy and lived a life of agony. The boy that was once filled with joy, laughter and excitement became miserable, hateful and bitter. I became someone no one expected me to become. I became a monster. I grew selfish. I became so nasty and nobody was able to control me. I messed up my life more because I’ve lost hope for a better one. I even tried to end it because I’ve gone tired of it. I didn’t care for nothing else but myself and worst, I tried to buy happiness in tabs, vials and grams. I went down to my lowest point all because of philophobia. I was awful.


But all of those is part of yesterday and yesterday is gone. I’ve started to pick myself up and started redeeming myself. I looked back and I realized that I was lucky enough to be given another chance on starting a brand new life. It was like being born again.


Now my life is back on its tracks. Everything seems to be fine until that day when I felt my heart beat a different rhythm. It was ecstatic and twice as much. It was joyous until I realized that the last time I felt this way was when I met that person who made me crash, burn and be the worst I can be. It scared me.

Yes! The last time I felt this way was when I fell so deeply in love.

I assessed my emotions and carefully rationalized the past. And then I looked at myself on the mirror and asked myself, “Am I ready to love again and take the risk?” I saw a smile form on my face and my eyes glimmer like gems. My heart started beating fast and at last, I was able to answer that question a big YES!


I am ready to face another commitment and take the risk of falling in love again. This time, everything will be taken into moderation. What I’ve learned in the past will be applied carefully for everything to be secure and for everything to work effectively.


There is no doubt that I am in love. And I am taking each step carefully to lessen any possible pain that may come… if not avoid it. I may not know if the person that I love feels that same way but I know that my entire system is functioning on its normal state. I am ready to prove how worthy I am to be loved and cared. And I am ready to give the same amount of love that I am giving myself to that very special person.


What lies ahead is unpredictable. What I am feeling right now may not be reciprocated. But I want to grab this opportunity to thank that very special person who made my heart beat twice as much and express what I truly feel.


You may not see it but you have helped me and brought me so much. You opened my eyes and helped me see things that were kept from me by the bitter fate that I had in the past. You brought back the smile on my face and most importantly you made me feel and believe in love again.


I won’t ask you to love me if it’s not what you heart feels towards me. But please believe me when I say that what I feel towards you is sincere and true.


I swear right now to you, that if we’re given the chance to be together, I will take good care of you and I will love you more than how other people loved you before. My body and soul will only be yours and I will take you to a world where our love constantly grows deeper and deeper. I will carry all the pain and grudges just to make sure that you won’t get hurt and I’ll make sure that here on my arms you’ll be safe.

I'll forever be gratifide with the beauty that you're giving me right now and I hope and pray that we'll be given the chance to share life together.

I am seriously inlove with you and I'll forever will.